It’s easy to want to blame someone or something outside of ourselves when our peace is disturbed. “It’s not my fault that I feel this way—THEY did this to me!” 😤
Our emotional reactions are physiological responses to our thoughts and perceptions. When you experience something that makes you feel “bad” it’s because YOU define it as such.
The next time you’re upset because of _________, consider that you are having a negative experience because of thoughts which you (with practice) have the power to change.
😠I am upset my partner doesn’t always pick up after himself
🤔because I DEFINE this as meaning he doesn’t love me.
😌Dirty dishes are not code for “I don’t love you,” and my partner supports me in countless ways.
😠I am upset my friend is always frustrated
🤔because I PROJECT my own frustrations onto her when we’re together.
😌I will take ownership of my own feelings and I recognize that it’s ok to feel frustrated.
😠I am upset my coworker gets away with everything
🤔because I JUDGE her life as easy and mine as hard.
😌I don’t know anything about her life, and if I’m not happy with mine I have the power to change it.
BOTTOM LINE: How you relate to the issue IS the issue.
Read that again.