Limiting Rules

When you have rules about how something should or shouldn’t be, you’re setting yourself and others up for failure.⁠

For the sake of this exercise, let’s skip the debate of whether or not any of your “rules” are good/bad or right/wrong. We all have morals and ideas about how the world should work. Instead of going down that rabbit hole, I want to look at your flexibility in certain situations.⁠

Let’s consider a “rule” that I have: Dirty clothes belong in the hamper, not the floor.⁠

When my rule is maintained, I feel good! I’m proud when I can keep the house tidy and happy when AJ also picks up after himself. A clean room = a restful space.⁠

When my rule is not maintained, I feel bad! I’m disappointed in myself when I let the house go and annoyed with AJ when he doesn’t pick up after himself. A messy room = a chaotic mind.⁠

But what if there’s a different way?⁠

What if I could learn to be more flexible in my rules and loosen my grip on the need to CONTROL?⁠

What if I could observe a mess in my house as a sign that AJ and I are simply focused on something else? That we feel short on time? That we’re too overwhelmed to clean at that moment. That we’re simply human? That it can wait?⁠

I would feel A LOT better and have a deeper sense of compassion for myself and my husband.⁠

What are some limiting rules you carry that have too much power over your feelings?⁠